A Guide To Having Anal Sex For The First Time

A Guide To Having Anal Sex For The First Time

We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist, to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off limits, and all questions remain anonymous. Now, onto today’s topic: how to have anal sex for the first time.

Q: I want to start experimenting with anal sex, but I’ve never done it before. How can I work my way up to having anal sex for the first time if all I’ve ever had in there is a finger? Is there a step-by-step process? What toys should I buy? Is there special lube? How do I know if it hurts too much or if I should push through any weird feelings?

A: Thanks for the question! More and more people are experimenting with anal play. Anal stimulation can feel a lot different than vaginal stimulation, and can have a greater potential for pain, so it’s important to know what to look out for. Here are six tips to follow when you’re ready to try anal sex for the first time!

1. Start With Fingers First

You’ve already taken the first step of starting your anal explorations with fingers. For anyone out there who hasn’t tried any anal play, stick with fingers to begin with. Once you’re aroused and the two of you are already hooking up, have your partner put some lube on their index finger (more on lube in a minute), and press their fingertip against your anus. If that feels good, have them try slowly inserting a finger just up to their first knuckle. (mehr …)