If you meet someone interesting online, you’re going to have to decide at some point when you want to take the relationship offline and meet in the real world. So when is it best to meet for the first time in person? As quickly as possible? Or after you’ve allowed time for the connection to deepen and strengthen?
Every situation and relationship is unique, so there’s not a one-size-fits-all answer to this. But in general, my answer to this question is: As soon as reasonably possible.
In my case, that was three months. In yours, it might be three weeks or a year. Don’t push things along too fast-there’s no reason to jump on a plane to meet someone you met in a chat hier gekoppeld room last weekend. But, assuming you can afford it and you’re out of school, there’s generally no reason to go longer than six months without meeting in person at least once.
So why is it so important to meet face to face as soon as you reasonably can? Here are three reasons:
1. It will help you know for sure you’re not being catfished (or scammed)
Most people will turn out to be more or less who they say they are. Most people have generally good intentions. Most, however, is not everyone.
It’s a sad reality that long distance romance scams are on the rise. You might think you’d never fall for a scammer, but don’t underestimate how good these people are at stirring up emotions and making intense connections. If you haven’t met in person yet, you really should read this piece on 5 common long distance scams and how you can protect yourself.
2. When you meet for the first time it will help you take off the rose-colored glasses you are wearing
In the early stages of a relationship, everyone is prone to seeing the object of their budding affections through rose-colored glasses. Psychologists call this the “ halo effect.” In practice, it means thatduring the first months (sometimes years) of getting to know someone we find attractive, we tend to assume that they are wonderful in all sorts of other ways as well. (mehr …)